Guest Poet 5 (Leanne Moden - The Haunting at Number 33)

Fifth of our guest poets is a young poet from Cambrideshire I believe called Leanne Moden who I met recently at the start of Napwrimo and was immediately drawn to her by her wonderful witty pieces and thoughtful sonnets).


The Haunting at Number 33 He’s floating round the kitchen and making cupboards slam: The ghost is back downstairs again – he’s eaten all my jam! He’s wilted all the tarragon with spooky, ghostly breath. He glides about on silent feet and scares me half to death. He switches on the radio and tunes it all to static. Either that or Morrissey! I don’t think I can hack it! He’s swapped the salt and sugar, so I’m drinking briny tea. He ate all of my Camembert and then bought Dairylea! I’ve stopped replacing all the milk, which seems to ‘disappear’. Now, I’m eating cornflakes dry – it’s more than I can bear! He even nicked my He-Man bowl! And smashed my favourite glass! (The dimpled mug, like in a pub.) Quite frankly, he’s an arse! He never cleans the microwave, the oven or the dishes, Despite the post-it notes I leave to vocalize my wishes. He switches off the freezer (so the sausages go soft) And seems to thrive on fridge light, like a very peckish moth. There’s no way I can lock him out: he comes straight through the door! He always leaves the taps on too! I can’t take this much more! But even so – I know, I know – I can’t just make him leave! He’s got unfinished business, but does he have to bother me? I’ve got to have a talk with him – but nothing makes a dint. I’ll leave out the Classifieds, and hope he gets the hint.



(Leanne Moden is a poet and writer from the East of England. She was Fenland Poet Laureate 2013, and is the current Cambridge Hammer and Tongue Slam Champion. She is also part of the 28 Sonnets Later poetry collective, and is currently writing her first full length live literature show. She blogs at http://tenyearstime.blogspot.co.uk/)